This is my nightmare. And I wake up to it every day. I have no choice.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Awakening to the Nightmare
I keep up with a lot of friends' blogs. I hate them all. I feel like such a failure when I read about their mistakes and picking themselves back up, their joys, their finding happiness. I know I'm doing ok right now, but I can feel this crazy person lurking behind me. Some day it's going to creep up on me again and attack. It's inevitable. And it scares the hell out of me. Has the disease become me? Have I become the disease? Has it changed who I am? Do I sound like a rambling idiot to you too? I've been a horrible mom all day today. I wonder if tomorrow I'll wake up Dr. Jekyll........or Mrs. Hyde..........