I have a son. Ethan. He'll be four on the 28th of this month. I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant with him and somehow I just knew he was going to stick around and I never really worried about losing him during my pregnancy. Being pregnant was hard on me, but I loved my birthing experience. I loved becoming a mother. I loved having a newborn and watching him grow. I loved everything about motherhood up until Ethan turned 2 1/2. This is about the age where toddlers start exercising their newfound opinions, voice, wants, and desires. The tantrums started. The whining started. I would take being pregnant and sick over dealing with tantrums and whining! Age three has been EXTREMELY difficult for me to deal with, but I want to make one thing VERY CLEAR:
I LOVE MY SON
I am not a perfect mother or person, but I AM a good mother and a good person. I want what's best for my son. I want him to learn how to be truly happy in life. I want to help guide him to becoming an amazing individual.
I may complain a lot during this age, and probably in the future as well, but that's because motherhood is HARD. It's not always fun. It's stressful, and intimidating. It can even hurt sometimes. And yes, sometimes I want to not be a mom, and just take a break, but I will always come back. I will always be a mom to my son. I may make mistakes and say or do stupid things sometimes, but I LOVE MY SON. I will always stand by his side and strive to support him in everything. I am a GOOD mother. I am a GOOD person. I would NEVER give up fighting if someone tried to take him away from me. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Hell hath no fury like mama bear. I pity the fool who would ever try to come between me and my son (his future wife aside of course).
So, I don't care what you think of me, but don't you dare get in my way of being a mother.
I know there are bumpy roads ahead, but I promised Ethan when I was still pregnant with him that I would never leave him. There will be many days where I will want to scream and pull my hair out, but my son will ALWAYS know that I love him and that I will be there for him no matter what.
And ultimately, isn't that the most important thing of all?
Unfortunately I don't have any recent pictures of he and I together. I need to fix that.